There’s a new game that’s all the rage in California called “Count Your Felonies and Misdemeanors”. Actually, I just made it up, but chances are if you’re a gun owner in California, you might want to practice. And for those of you in freer America, feel free to play along. The object of the game is: the player in your circle of operators with the most potential felonies and misdemeanors wins. Now crack open your safes and let’s get started.

If the California legisexuals get their way and our senile governor either signs the slew of gun control laws on his desk or just lets them become law, by failing to comply regarding property Californians already own, we can wake up felons on a future January 1st. Let’s take the tyrannies one by one and add up your score at the end for noncompliance.

To get started you’ll first need a brief crash course in current asinine CA gun laws to understand the new laws being proposed otherwise they’ll make no sense, not that they made sense to begin with.

After 2000, any centerfire semi automatic rifle with a detachable magazine was considered an “assault weapon” if it also had any of the following features: a pistol grip, a flash hider, a collapsable stock, a thumbhole stock, a forward pistol grip, or a grenade launcher (seriously). Also, any fixed magazine rifle couldn’t hold more than 10 rounds (fixed magazine being defined as unable to be detached without the use of a tool, a bullet also being a tool). These guns were banned for future sale. If you currently have one that wasn’t registered as an “assault weapon” with the state prior to 2000, give yourself a point.

In order to remain legal, some geniuses invented what’s been come to be known as the “Bullet Button”. It replaces the standard magazine release button with a solid that fixes the magazine in place, but it has a small hole in the middle of it that’s just big enough to insert the tip of a 5.56 round into in order to release the magazine. With a Bullet Button, you could keep all your banned features, but you were still limited to only using 10 round magazines.

The legisexuals, angry and petty as they are, deemed this level of compliance an outrage, so now they’ve passed a law that changes the definition of “fixed magazine” and states all Bullet Button equipped rifles must be registered as “assault weapons” and all future sales are banned. Give yourself a point for any Bullet Button equipped rifle you own.

There’s another way to remain compliant, and that’s to convert your rifles to “featureless”, where you have a centerfire semi automatic rifle with a detachable magazine but it doesn’t have a pistol grip, a flash hider, a collapsable stock, a thumbhole stock, a forward pistol grip, or a grenade launcher (every time I type that I feel dumber). Think about trying to make your AR15 look like your mini 14.

The legisexuals tried to give this level of compliance “assault weapon” status, but failed.

Also, if you own a semi auto pistol with the magazine outside the pistol grip, this is an “assault weapon” (give yourself a point for all your AR or AK pistols), and in CA you were able to buy or make your own as long as you used a magazine locking device like a Bullet Button up until recently, but these too will now need to be registered as “assault weapons” (give yourself more points for all your Bullet Button pistols).

If you have a mag-fed semi auto shotgun, just give yourself a point already.

If you’ve ever lost a firearm or had one stolen and didn’t report it to the police or took too long to report it to the police, give yourself a point. It’s now a crime if you don’t do so in a timely manner. No more “lost them in a tragic boat accident” excuse.

If you build your own firearms or have firearms that were built prior to 1968, they likely don’t have serial numbers. Now all guns are required to have serial numbers, retroactive 50 years. Give yourself a point for all your guns without serial numbers.

In 2000, all magazines that can hold over 10 rounds were banned from being sold, given, imported, or manufactured, but you could keep the ones you owned prior to 2000. Well, now the legisexuals have banned the possession of +10 round magazines and are requiring that you turn them in. Give yourself a point for every +10 round magazine you own.

If you have ever loaned your gun to anyone, at the range, while hunting, for the night out of fear, whatever… this is banned. Give yourself a point for however many times you think you’ve done this.

If you want to buy ammunition, it has to now be a face-to-face transaction, and the seller must be a licensed vendor. Basically, no more buying your ammo in bulk online, and anyone you’re buying from has to be a licensed vendor, or you need to have a license to sell your extra ammo. Oh, and the Department of Justice requires transaction records of all ammo purchases, so they’ll know how much you own of each caliber. “Vhy are you buying zat caliber ven you don’t have a veapon registered with ze State in zat caliber?!”

AND… must have slipped my mind… you need to go through a background check to buy ammo… every time.

Give yourself a point for however many boxes of ammo you have, because there’s no way you can guess how many times you’d have violated that one.

If you’ve ever bought more than 1 firearm in 30 days… yeah you can’t do that anymore. Give yourself 1 point for every time you did.

And finally, if you have an aluminum paperweight that’s in the shape of a lower receiver or a flat piece of sheet metal with holes in it (an 80% receiver, or as far as the Federal Government is concerned “not a firearm”), give yourself a point for however many of these you own and haven’t machined into a firearm, because California now deems these pieces of metal actual firearms and subject to all laws governing firearms. Let that sink in.

Understand, this isn’t completely comprehensive, but you get the idea.

Now add up your score. If you’re in a free state, feel free to share your score. If you’re a Californian, well I’m not a lawyer, but anything you say can be used against you in a court of law.



Adding one more important level to the game. Currently there exists in the law a “Firearms Restraining Order” in which a family member can have you stripped of your guns and gun rights without due process. This has now been expanded to employers, coworkers, mental health workers, and college professors. Give yourself a point for every anti-gun family member, employer, coworker, mental health worker, or college professor you know.


4 thoughts on “Who wants to play “Count Your Felonies & Misdemeanors”?

  1. Wow… Just wow. I’m a fairly new hunter,(6 years hunting, 20+ shooting, living in CA, born and raised, and I would even consider myself a novice/light weight. I don’t even want to begin to tell my score, but what I will say is I will be out of this God forsaken state before January.


  2. This is not a game people in free America can play without substantial foresight into the law. When you’ve got guns which grant you a felony 3 different ways, and at least a misdemeanor, and what about the magazines – how do you count it?


  3. HOLY crappers I’m glad I left CA 20 yrs ago, but I moved to WA, a CA wannabe state for sure. The libs on the west side are continually trying to invent new ways to deny my gun rights. 98% of WA citizens do not go along, it is usually just the people living in King county [Seattle commie libs] who vote FOR this type of crap.

    Things are getting worse not better and they are continually thinking up new ways, just as CA, to try and restrict gun ownership. I would love to move out of WA but here in the center, where I live, the cost of living is far cheaper then most other areas and for now it is a pretty good area.

    Problem is the whack jobs from Seattle vote in laws and we have to live with them here. I have a concealed carry permit but for how much longer?

    Just found this site, love it.


  4. I left commiefornia in 1993 for Seattle. I then watched Seattle/Washington move farther and farther to the left. Lost my job and my house, and ended up in Arizona at the end of 2013. Probably the best thing I’ve ever done to improve the quality of my life. Among many other positive aspects, one of my favorites is that I can drive 15 minutes out of town to shoot. It’s legal and it’s safe. Another good thing is I scored over 1000 points in the game, and I haven’t even taken delivery of my suppressor. Wouldn’t that give Governor Moonbeam, Gavin Newsome, Kamala Harris, Barbara Boxer, Diane Feinstein and all their pals apoplectic fits!


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